How did we get here?

Some days I stop and think how in the world did we get here?  So many times we have heard, “God will write your adoption story.”  We don’t know how our story will end, but we can already see how God is the Author who is writing this story.

But I want to share “Chapter One” and talk about how this crazy adventure began.  There are several reasons for wanting to share.  First, I think that it is important to remember this part of the journey (even if it is a hard to share).  Second, I read a lot of stories, blogs, Facebook posts, etc about adoption and infertility.  Reading other people’s stories helped me understand what was going on and really helped Brett and I make our decision to adopt.  I pray that some one might read this part of my story and it will bless them.

*****Disclaimer******* This is a public blog.  There is a need to use caution in what details I share.  So forgive me for not giving every tiny detail.  If you have questions, I am happy to talk over email or some other private communication.

So…… it starts in high school.  I had some female issues, but didn’t think much about it.  These issues were kinda off and on and nothing really major.  It continued thru college and the issues increased some, but not enough to really alarm me.

In grad school the issues became enough of a problem that I needed to see a Doctor. At that time the Doctor was able to address my issues and helped to regulate things.  He also told me that it was very likely that I would have trouble getting pregnant.  I understood this, but I didn’t really effect my life and the time.  I wasn’t married or engaged or even dating any one at the time.  My doctor is a wonderful, Christian man.  He looked me straight in the eye and said, “ I have quit telling people the can or can not get pregnant.  God is in control of that and He can do anything He wants to.”

Brett and I start dating and we can see that things are getting serious.  I share with him about this part of my life.  I want him to know that there was a chance that I could not get pregnant.  I also wanted to know if he would be open to adoption.  My heart was already open to adoption.  In fact, I have had a place in my heart for adoption for as long as I can remember (but that is another post).  Brett thought and prayed about it and he was ok with adoption and our relationship moved forward.

After about two years of marriage we decided to start trying.  I was very eager to start because I knew there might be issues.  I was expecting most of my issues to be physical, so I was in for surprise when my emotions and moods went crazy too.  Again, because this is a public blog, I don’t feel comfortable sharing all the details about this time in my life.  But the short version is that things were not right physically and emotionally.  I went back to my doctor to try to find out what was going on.

My doctor was so patience to listen to me.  We talked thru the issues and what some of the options were.  We choose to use something to help level out my mood swings.  There are risks involved with this and Brett and I were both aware of this.  After about two months I could tell my mood swings were not so bad, but I just didn’t feel like myself.  Also, things were continuing to get worse with the physical stuff.  There are all kinds of books, web sites, and apps to help you track things to increase your chances of getting pregnant.  We had been doing this and we could tell things were not right.

So after 1 year of trying we went back to my Doctor.  He looked at my charts and tracking data.  We did some tests and talked with him about all the options.  Brett and I had already been talking about fertility treatments.  During this time I had been doing a lot of research and reading other people’s stories.  We never felt a peace about fertility treatments.  There is a list of reasons why WE didn’t choose fertility treatments, this is what we felt was best for us.  If you are struggling with this issue I encourage you to learn as much as you can and pray for wisdom.  We know plenty of people who have chosen fertility treatments and have a child as a result.  Again, if you want to talk with me more about this I would love to!

OK, all that to say the Doctor laid out all the facts and we chose to not pursue fertility treatments and the next day we filled out the first form with Bethany Christian Services.  This is Chapter 1 of our adoption story.