Discipline Policy

I had a friend ask about the discipline policy that we had to sign.  Here is a summary in my words: Bethany is licensed by the state of Arkansas and must comply with all laws, rules and regulations regarding adoption and foster care.  Many children in the foster care system have been physically abused.  Bethany ask that we not use corporal punishment with our foster child.  I am sure you are wondering - What foster child?  I thought you were adopting??   We are adopting, but for the first six months we will foster the child.  At the six month mark we go to court and legally adopt the child.  This process is set up mainly for older children.  The six month time period allows the child and the parents to make sure this is a good fit.  Because we are adopting and infant, there is not much need to make sure the baby will fit into our family.  But the processes is still there.

After the child is legally ours (at the six month mark) we are able to discipline the child in any way we choose.  Meaning we could spank if we choose to.  Of course if we are abusive to the child (which we won't be!) we would be at risk of loosing our child.  But that is the case for any child - adopted or not.  Brett and I were more than willing to sign this discipline policy.  There is no need to spank a six month, so that is not a problem!  Also, if we were adopting an older child who had been abused then we would not spank them.  We would choose other forms of discipline.

Here is portions of the discipline policy taken directly from Bethany:


Parental discipline of children is a Biblically mandated and essential part of the parent-child relationship. Discipline involves providing parental guidance and teaching of appropriate attitudes and behavior. Discipline will best help children develop relationships based on trust and will prepare them to be responsible adults if it is responsive to their individual needs and personality.

Discipline requires consistent and clear communication. It is a process that includes praise, encouragement, role modeling and redirecting as well as firm limit setting, withdrawal of privileges, verbal reprimand and corporal discipline.


Therefore the Bethany discipline policy includes two restrictions in the implementation of discipline to children who are under the legal jurisdiction of Bethany: The first is that Bethany is committed to comply
with the licensing regulations under which we operate. When the licensing regulations of the state overseeing Bethany’s services prohibits the use of corporal discipline of children in Bethany’s care, Bethany will abide by those regulations. Secondly, Bethany provides foster care and adoptive placements to many children who have been physically abused. Corporal discipline of these children in the aftermath of this experience may be a reminder of this abuse and could be traumatic to the point of being counter productive and is, therefore, not
acceptable for these children while in Bethany’s care.


Bethany does not have restrictions regarding corporal discipline after an adoption is legally complete. Discipline of children must take into account the specific needs of each child and the relationship of parents to their children. Because of the importance of the parent/child disciplinary relationship, the Bethany staff will
provide prospective Bethany foster and adoptive parents a copy of this policy, an educational presentation and resources on the topic of Biblical parental discipline.